Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I'm a hypocrite guy in and out


Hidup sekarang ni : rasa sedih sangat =(

Diri sendiri selalu rasa dan perasan yang – “ I got one big happy family”

And because of that, I’m grateful enough.

Walau apa pun halangan yang menimpa , saya tahu saya ada backup iaitu keluarga saya.

Dan dengan itu juga , saya jadi tak kisah hidup single dan unavailable(easily mean ; single but don’t want any sort of couple-nonhalal  relationship ). Sebab di sudut hati saya , saya percaya walau apa pun terjadi , saya ada keluarga yang akan ada untuk saya di kala susah dan senang.

Dan kepercayaan itu hampir hilang.

Dugaan menimpa-nimpa , seakan saya rasa semput sendiri.

Keluarga saya bukan lagi keluarga bahagia yang dulu.
Even though, dari luar nampak bahagia but I know the truth and it really hurt me somehow.

Adik-adik belum tahu  and bcoz of that I have to act like I’m don’t know and be happy with it. yeah, acting !! I should be an actress becoz of that. 

To mama & abah , been acting like a good daughter , actually I was like want to …………. !!! angry and sad at the same time.

Sedara..uncle and aunties , I have to act like an innocent niece that don’t know anything. I’m not a child anymore !!! 

To friends, I act like a simply happy guy, in and out. Just keep smiling and laughing like usual. Try to through this hectic medical life like usual. 

I’m like a hypocrite guy in and out.

Dan untuk kesekian kalinya , I hate that title ‘anak sulung’. Bcoz of that title , I have to endure all of this.

I know everything but I have to act like I don’t know anything.
I felt really hurt in & out but I have to act like I don’t felt anything in & out.

Yeah , it is really hard.

Listening to this song make me somehow laughing + crying at the same time ^^
Yeah, call me ‘crazy’ !!

I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
But I do do feel
That I do do will
Miss you much
Miss you much

I can see the first leafs falling
It's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
Like the way I'm feeling inside


Outside it's no raining
And tears are falling from my eyes
Why did it have to happen
Why did it all have to end


I have your arms around me
Warm like fire
But when I open my eyes
Your gone

[Chorus: x2]

I’m a BIG BIG girl , has to be independent somehow.

Sometimes , I was hoping of some hero (like a Korean drama) came to rescue me from all of this LOL

But seriously , I was thinking of running away from my family all the time, 

tetapi jauh di sudut hati ini ,
reminds me that I’m  ‘anak sulung’ ,
has to be responsible , and has to support my family especially during this period of time.

yeah , right !! 

And eventually, here I am became the hypocrite guy once again
*senyum pahit* --> tak sedap !!!

p/s : sorry for that negative wave effect again *huh*

1 pengomen:

Teenager Housemaid

moga tabah menjalani ujian hidup..
i have no happy family too, but i survive..
i am an orphan, but i survive..
and i beleive u can survive this rough road no matter what..:)

ainsabrina mencabar dirinya sendiri.
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