Wednesday, October 21, 2009



ahh realy tired today..really not concentrate much during lecture..banyak zzzzzzzz..mata ni kerja nak tutp ja..and seringkali time duk dengar lecture ada ja sms yg datang..berkaitan kem MSFT yg akan berlansung hujung minggu ni...and sepanjang lecture pg tadi, i just can't wait to be back to my room, nak charge hp then trus nak call mama or abah..really2 miss them..homesick syndrome associated or may predispose by hectic week this week...

so balik rumah just call my mama first..
then after a while call my abah..

"ye ain..kenpa", my abah just answered my phone..
di balik fon tu aku ada dengar macam org2 bercakap..
so aku pun "abah busy ka???"
"abah tengah meeting ni..napa ni??"
aku pun "emm kul 1 abah free???ain kol kul 1 la.."
then off a while..

so then i stay a while at bilik ain that time my lacrimal gland started to excrete its secretion aka air mata..really fell lonely at that time..mama busy abah pun busy..

then after a while,my phone ring..
and there my otousan aka my abah call..
as he call the lacrimal gland actively secreting its secretion..
it really surprised him..
her oldest daughter suddenly cry like a little girl..
her oldest girl that usually act cold suddenly melted like a little child..
air mata tu cam dah tak nak berhenti..
just menangis dan menangis sampaikan kata-kata tersekat..
and his words,support and advice at that time really heal my sickness at that time..

i know it really hurt him somehow to hear me crying all a long in the phone until he said "nak balik ka???" (sangatlah susah sbnarnya utk abahku mengeluarkan soklan ni..he is the type of abah that really tegas and don't really like her daughter to balik rumah goyang kaki and he prefer her daughter to stay at hostel and study)
dalam tersekat-sekat aku menjawab.. "ain ada kem hujung minggu ni.."
"nak abah datang ka???"
"haa boleh la.."
"abah kerja sabtu ni..emmm"(abah cam sedng berfikir cara nak g melawat me)
i know really hard for abah right now sbb abah baru start keja kat KL..from what i can tell his work is a lot busier and hectic than b4 but somehow he cam came with the idea to came to kelantan to visit me,really touch me somehow..
lastly we came with the idea i will come back to penang this 8th november during this CFCS week..he just like.."ok ain balik 8hb ye..abah pun balik penang waktu tu..nanti kita g berkelah kat sungai..jalan2..release ur tension..ok???".

then bcoz of that drama air mata(^_^),my abah call me for more than 5x just for today..just to know her daughter's condition..really love him for that..and as usual his advice aka takzirah been heard every time he call...
"g baca quran byk2"
"ambil air sembahyang,g wat solat suant 2 rakkat"
"banyak g masjid..tenangkan diri kat sana"
"banyakkan minum air.."
"rehat biar cukup.."
bla bla bla (dan macam2 lagi la)
as anak muda kadang2 diakui boring dengar mak ayah kita berleter but somehow sometimes i really love that nagging time bcoz it shows they care about us..
usually at this time, my abah will send his motivational sms and i will saved it in my hp and whenever i need it,i will just read it..
really love and miss him so much!!!

somehow at that time really miss the old time..
the time i'm the only daughter in my family..
but jangan salah faham i love my sister although i'm not the only daughter anymore..
her presence really enjoyable and lovable somehow..
miss the old time where i'm just a little girl without problem,no pressure and no responsibilities..
that old time tinggal sejarah and i've just have to through this 'new' time..
wish me luck to through it..

abah with my only sis..

Monday, October 19, 2009

A Dream of Muslimah

bacalah dengan mata,nilaikanlah dengan berfikir dan hayatilah dalam hati..

got this article from iluvislam..really love it so i share with u all..try have a look..i really sure that muslimah out there also have the same dream like muslimah that wrote this article..happy reading..

A Dream of Muslimah
Oleh : Nur20
Editor : NuurZaffan

I remember it was winter in England and I was catching a train back to the city where I lived. It was cold, I looked out, White snow was falling lightly from the gloomy sky. The train was moving fast, and as it moved I could see grounds in white all covered up by snow. ‘Covered up?’ the word rang in my head. Images of hijab and headscarf flashes on my mind.

For the two hours journey, I couldnt sleep even once. There was too much on my mind. I was born as a Muslim. And I didn‘t pray five times a day like everybody else. I hardly could read the Quran. People could say I was illiterate in a way. Because at times, it took me a long while to finish even a short verse from the Quran. It was in Arabic and I was never taught Arabic, that was my excuse of not reading. I thought as long as you have a good heart that‘s good enough. And if you don’t commit huge sins, you’ll be fine. But what she said, made my whole perspective looked, vain.

I was from London and on my way back home to the North West region. My heart wasn’t at ease. What she said had made me thinking, and I was thinking real hard. She was a nice girl. ‘Be a true Muslim, and not just a Muslim by name,’ she said politely with a smile, but the meaning was intense. She was merely quoting and was not saying it to me but my heart was touched. What kind of Muslim, had I been all these while? I don’t want to be a Muslim and only by name. It doesn’t sound good either. As the train moved, heading to North West where I lived, I let out few sighs.

Few months after later.. ‘Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim..,’ I read out loud before starting to read the Quran. My web-cam was on. That night We were in the middle of Quranic circle. It’s an activity that we do once a week. Through this circle, we read the Quran in turns. All were ladies. Sometimes we get to discussed about the meaning behind the Quran verses and some Hadith from Rasulullah. It was amazingly fun and I never thought I would actually had fun doing religious activity. I was very thankful to Siti and her older sister because now I can read the Quran much better. And since then, I keep on gradually changing, I realised. How I view life has changed too, a bit if not much.

At nights before I slept, I thought of going to a place. Somewhere faraway and seemed hard to reach but I knew its reachable. And if possible, I wanted to go there with someone that I loved. Of course that’s still remain as a wish and I hope it’ll come true one day. My life is never this calm! I now wear headscarf everywhere I go. It doesn’t feel right without it. Sometimes that leads to guilt, when people sees my hair. So I wear headscarf whenever I go out. My social activity especially when interacting with men has also changed. I used to be friendly and outgoing, even with the opposite gender. Now I feel sort of afraid. Sometimes I limit myself from being too ‘friendly’ with men. Sometimes, I think twice before I talked to them. Is it necessary or not to talk now? Because Women can be a fitnah to men, I don’t want to build up sins.

I used to look for a romantic boyfriend before. I searched high and low but funny that I never really had a boyfriend until now. I used to ask why? The question is why. Because I’m not unpretty. But now I understand the reason behind. Having a romantic relationship outside marriage can lead to something that breaks the law of Syariah. All praise to Allah, I’m glad I never had boyfriends before. I’m not worried if I don’t find a guy any sooner. I’m not looking for a relationship anymore. And definitely not looking for someone based on how romantic he is. I’m going with the flow, after all everything about humans has been written. I want to fix myself first.

I read somewhere about ‘Mencintai kerana Allah’ or ’Loving you because of God’. It was a nice Malay blog entry. I am aiming for that kind of love now. It sounds more pure than romantic love, to me.

‘What’s your dream guy like?’ a friend asked me one day while we ride on a taxi.

I didn’t replied him immediately though, ‘and have you found him?’ he added quickly.

‘Why do you want to know’ I politely asked with a smile.

‘Well, only asking,’ he replied calmly. Then there were silent. The road was wet due to the rain. It was soon before the taxi reached my home.

‘Was he like me?’ he then added. He was hinting something, I knew. I’ve been waiting for this moment all this year. And this could be a dream come true, but..

‘My dream guy is,’ I began ‘Someone who can guide me, you know, he leads and I follow,’ Then I paused.

‘I can be the guy,’ He said confidently.

There was silence again, a long one. The taxi finally reached my home. I said goodbyes to him and walked to my front door. I wave before the taxi accelerated again. He smiled to me even though I didn’t gave him the answer. He was a nice guy but he couldn‘t be the guy. Because…

I want to live with a guy who could guide me, so that I can get closer to My Creator. I want a man who can lead as an Imam, in every prayers that we’re gonna do together as married couple. A man who would tell Islamic history as a bed-time-stories to our children in the future. I want a man who’ll read the holly Quran to me, to cheer me every time I’m down. That is my dream guy and before I can meet him, I knew I need to fix myself first.

One beautiful spring afternoon, I was at a function. There were many Malays all gathered. That’s when I met him. He’s not just decent but he has the characteristic of my dream guy. Every time our eyes met accidentally during the event, he quickly moved away his stare. That convinced me, even more. I knew he’ll be a good amir, a leader of a family. Secretly I prayed: O‘ Allah, I want that kind of guy as a partner in life. At nights before I slept, I thought of going to a place. Somewhere faraway and seemed hard to reach but I knew its reachable. And if possible, I wanted to go there with someone that I loved. I want to go to Jannah (the heaven) with him! I’ll wait here and I know the wait is worthy.

p/s mostly every woman nak laki yang baik..artis pun bila diinterview ciri-ciri laki idamannya dia akan jawab : beriman+baik +bla bla bla.tapi aku percaya laki yang baik tercipta buat wanita yang baik so jadilah yang solehah sblm mencari yg soleh..that advice also goes to me..(^_^) wat kekwn yang membaca dont't worry bab relationship +++ ni sbb there must be that 'someone' for us and insyALLAH that someone is soleh/ takyah nak cari2 lagi+tak payah nak couple2 lagi..that just ridiculous+ HARAM!!! carilah keberkatan sebelum berkawin untuk keberkatan selepasnya,insyALLAH..adios..

Tuesday, October 6, 2009



kak tak sempat nak wish pun lagi..try fon no irfan,rupa-rupanya adik kak dah insaf dah tak bawa hp g hostel (^_^)..jadi kena tunggu hujung minggu la tuk wish,tu pun kalu irfan balik umah hujung minggu ni..huhuhu

he's already 14teen..dah teen..but for me irfan still my beloved bro yang manja2 je..
dialog dia suka cakap dulu..time tengah malam je mesti dia cakap "kak ain,pan lapar la..kak ain masak nasi goreng"
tu la dia irfan adikku yang kuat makan+gemuk tapi cute..tapi tu dulu..sekarang ni uish nak jaga badan la konon..dah makin kurus+tinggi..habislah akak dia ni..ayin pun dah memanjang,irfan pun,last2 si akak ni jugak yang ambil gelaran terpendek..

anyway to adikku happy u miss u..

p/s gambar irfan kat bawah tu nanti la ye kak edit..takda masa lagi la..huhu

Sunday, October 4, 2009



rindu kat budak bawah ni...

tadi saja fon mama..rupa-rupanya mama ada kat kl..ada check-up as usual at hospital ampang..
masa fon tu mama ada dalam keta on da way nak g umah terbuka(still in mood raya..)..dalam keta tu ada budak cute ni sekali..sembang2 ngan mama then mama pass fon kat dia..

"kak ain..kak ain.." memang tabiatnya suka panggil namaku berkali-kali dgn nada suara yang kuat..
"kak ain buat apa????" soalan pertamanya..(budak2 kan suka bertanya)
"kak ain belaja la", jawabku(tak tau nak jawab pa sebenarnya..)
"belaja apa???", tanyanya lagi..
saat itu aku ada kat mdl..terpandang specimen otak kat meja mdl..
lalu aku jawab "belaja pasal otak.." aku pun nak tergelak saat jawab camtu..taktau nak jawab pa..
"haaa", tertanya budak sorang ni..
lantas aku dengar mak dia(mak cik aku yang aku panggil angah sbbnya dia tak bagi panggil "mak ngah" kononnya nak nampak muda la kot hihi)cakap "kak ain belaja pasal doktor"...
dia pn "ohhhhhhh..kak ain blaja cucuk-cucuk orang ye???" tanyanya lagi..
aku pn "ye kak blaja cucuk orang..balik nanti kak cucuk anip"..
menjerit budak tu..aku pun la nak cucuk orang..baru blaja cucuk patung ada hati nak cucuk anak orang..
lantas aku ubah tajuk..
"dapat banyak duit raya tak???"
"banyak..anip dapat rm300".
"uish banyak tu.."
"tah(Tuk anip merangkap tuk sedara aku) ada sekali ka???",
"takde..tah ada kat umah pak su kat kajang", jawabnya petah
"k lah..kak nak cakap ngan mak kak balik".
aku pun menunggu la talian tu diberikan pada mama aku,alih2 terbiar camtu je linenya.
aku dengar la diorang duk sembang-sembang sbbnya line 2 tak off lagi..
aku pun last skali tutup je fon..nanti la fon mama balik..

tu la anip(nak kata sepupu tak sama tuk,kira sepupu jugalah,sepupu jauh)..rindu betul dengan gelagat dia..
raya hari tu tak sempat nak 'main' dengan dia sebabnya dia sibuk main dengan sepupu sebaya dia sampai lupa kakak ain dia huhu
that's all..bila la nak jumpa si anip ni lagi???raya tahun dpn pulak kot..huhu

kak ain miss u anip!!!

Saturday, October 3, 2009



Dah tengok video di atas???
memang tergelak la pas tengok video ni..
it is fact kan???
mungkin kat Y gene or SRY gene kat kaum lelaki memang ada characteristic ni kot???
so just buat peringatan buat diri sendiri dan kaum wanita kat luar sana..
"apa yang laki cakap mostly a lie",kata-kata ni aku kutip dari nasihat abahku sendiri. abahku seorang laki yang merevealkan benda ni..mungkin kata-kata ini diluahkan sebagai protective agent tuk anak perempuannya but i take it as a protective mechanism for me to handle relationshp between man and women..
haha terasa betul kaum adam yang membaca ni..hihihi

ok it just sort of humor ok..
no hard feeling pasni ye..
saja wat tontonan umum video ni..
dengan post menvideo ni,aku takda la mebuktikan aku benci kaum lelaki ni.
takda maknanya..
abah aku laki,adik aku ramai laki(walaupun just 2 orang,kira ramai sbb i only hve one sis), abang aku pn lelaki, sepupu aku pun ramai lelaki and of course suami aku pun akan lelaki..
so enjoy ur day..

akhir kata "jadikan hari ini lebih dari semalam dan hari esok lebih baik dari hari ini"

aku nak selitkan sekali lirik lagu hey ladies nyanyian rossa-

Lirik Hey Ladies - Rossa

Sudah kubilang jangan terlalu yakin
Mulut lelaki banyak juga tak jujur
Bila sakit hati wanita bisanya nangis

Sudah ku bilang jangan terlalu cinta
Kalau patah hati siapa mau nolong
Seperti langit dan matahari tak bersatu lagi

Hey ladies jangan mau di bilang lemah
Kita juga bisa menipu dan menduakan
Bila wanita sudah beraksi dunia hancur

Hey ladies sekarang cinta pakai otak
Jangan mau rugi hati dan juga rugi waktu
Bila dia merayumu ingat semuanya bohong

Memanglah tak semua lelaki busuk
Namun ladies tetaplah harus waspada
Semogalah kita semua akhirnya
Mendapatkan cinta yang tulus

Sudah kubilang jangan terlalu yakin
Mulut lelaki banyak juga tak jujur
Bila sakit hati wanita bisanya nangis

ainsabrina mencabar dirinya sendiri.
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